I'm numb

I am totally baffled by my life. I just talked to the guy who does my taxes and joyfully said "how much am I getting", and he said "you're on the other side of the street". I will owe somewhere around $1000.00. Honestly if I didn't have kids, I'd jump. and here's the thing. Its so easy for people to say, be greatful for what you have. I have always been greatful for what I have. I have good kids, besides the everyday crap we all put up with, they are really good kids and i like them. I like my husband (most days). I own a home, its not great but like everyone said Its mine....can't argue that. Am I ungrateful because I am sliding into a financial grave? All I want to do is pay my bills and maybe, maybe take a vacation every couple years. (ok, I would like a little more than that) I can pretend to be happy in spite of everything, which basically is what I have been doing for the last couple years. Well I 'm sick of it. Do I have bad Karma? Well maybe I'll get this job so I can be greatful that I'm just making it.